Catch Me If You Cannon

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Catch Me If You Cannon is the fifth episode of the third season of 90210, the reboot of Beverly Hills, 90210. It aired on the CW on October 11, 2010. The episode was written by Terrence Coli and directed by Jim Conway.


Silver, Naomi, and Adrianna craft a plan to seduce Mr. Cannon to prove he raped Naomi, but they underestimate his ability to control the situation. Teddy and Ian are forced to do manual labor as a punishment for fighting. Dixon fears for his life and pushes Ivy away, leading her straight into the arms of Oscar. Meanwhile, Jen looks for a new assistant and Debbie applies for the job. Debbie also finds out about the arrangement between Annie and Katherine and forbids Annie from fulfilling it.


Annie is trying to get comfortable with the thought of giving herself hormone stimulation shots. Katherine says if she'd rather, she'll do the shots for her. Annie says no, she'll be fine. Katherine thanks her again for helping her and her husband with this. She also asks Annie if a bank transfer is okay, and tells her she'll have the fee funds by the end of the week.When she gets home, her mom is looking at all the past-due bills. Debbie quickly shoves under the paper so Annie will not see them. Annie claims the little brown bag she's holding is a sandwich Katherine gave her. Ryan is trying to keep an eye out and care for Jen, but she says at 37 weeks, the baby is good to go, all is well.Dixon goes in for an HIV test. The lab tech tells him his results will be in on Wednesday.A young lady hits
on Teddy. She heard that he and Silver broke up. He advises her she came on way too soon, and walks away.Naomi, Annie and Silver watch Mr. Cannon interacting with a young blond. They think that all things considered, he should probably be castrated. It's unfair that Naomi has to see him every day. Silver thinks maybe she doesn't; she has a plan.She approaches Mr. Cannon in the hall and tells him she actually left the other night because she wanted to break up with Teddy while she still has the courage to do so. She arranges to get together with Cannon again tomorrow. She tells him she's really looking forward to it.

Dixon and Ivy meet up at school. She asks him if he's contagious, since he told her he was puking his guts out after the bachelor auction. She tries to reschedule him, and he says he's not free until after Wednesday.Annie discovers that Liam is living in his car. He tells her to butt out, and drives away. Debbie is at her job interview with Jen. She gets the job if she can create a spreadsheet which covers the last three years. Jen also asks her to stop smiling so much, because it's giving her a headache.

Annie and Charlie are discussing if they can continue seeing each other. He thinks she and Liam used to date, so she should be off limits, but they didn't. They decide they should stop the relationship anyway. Annie fills Charlie in on Liam's sleeping arrangements.The principal swings by detention. She'll cut Teddy and Ian's time short if they are willing to help out the janitors, who are swamped. They both agree. Debbie calls Annie to ask her where she is supposed to plug in the flash drive. After she leaves a message, she
drops the drive on the floor. When she picks it up, she sees the brown paper bag under the table. When she opens it, she takes out a syringe.Liam finds Charlie sitting on his car. Charlie tries to talk to him, but Liam refuses. He says Annie told him she felt bad about the credit card, but he knows Charlie didn't tell her the whole story. Charlie gives him a key to a hotel, telling him to stay as long as he wants, order room service, whatever. Liam accuses Charlie of trying to buy him off, just because his mom is rich. Charlie says he's not. Liam doesn't have to see him or like him, but he can't live in his car.

Debbie confronts Annie about the syringes. Annie can't get a word in edgewise. When she finally manages to fill Debbie in on Katherine, the eggs and the hormone stimulation injections, Debbie says she absolutely can't do this. Annie reminds her that since she's 18, it's not her call. They argue their way to the point that Annie wants to see the one ad for a housewife with no college, no experience and no skills. Debbie makes it through that and says it doesn't matter what Annie meant. She's not selling her eggs; end of story. Ian and Teddy are going to be cleaning the gutters. They are given special tools so they can clean them from the ground, and the principal gives them strict orders not to go on the roof.Oscar shows up in Ivy's bedroom and teases her about her refusal to fold her clothes once they're clean. He wants her to share all the details of her first time, and she tells him it never happened. When he reacts to the news that Dixon became physically ill, he starts to leave but Ivy insists he tell her what he was thinking. He tells her he saw Ivy and Sasha that night. Oscar tells Ivy he's sure it was nothing, and he leaves.

Adrianna, Naomi and Silver are there when Cannon logs on the messenger. Silver asks if they're still on for
tonight, and he says yes. She tells him she's staying at the Villas on Sunset, and asks if he wants to meet her there. He says yes.Debbie finishes the spreadsheet in time, and Jen throws it in the garbage. When asked why, she says that was just busy work. Debbie wouldn't be doing anything like that. She turns down the job. Just because she didn't go to college, doesn't mean she needs to be talked down to by a spoiled trust fund brat who has never worked a day in her life. Jen's water breaks, and Debbie says she'll drive her to the hospital.
Ian and Teddy are cleaning the gutters from the roof, by hand. Ian goes on and on about how gutters are like people, ticking time bombs full of crap that nobody can see from where they stand. Stuff is just building up and building up. Ian tells Teddy straight up: he can punch him and call him a fag, but he can't run away from who he is. Ian almost falls off the roof. While Teddy prevents it, they manage to break one of the gutters. Ian says he's going to go get tools to fix it so he and Teddy don't have to spend any more time together than is absolutely necessary.Liam trashed Charlie's hotel room to the tune of $5000. The hotel manager tells Charlie he'll put that on his credit card.

Ryan arrives at the hospital. Jen is verbally berating everybody in earshot - and then her son arrives. He's beautiful. she and Ryan kiss. They realize they just got caught up in the moment, and Ryan apologizes. Dixon gets a call from Ivy, and he sends it to voice mail. He then gets a call from Dr. Wright's office, and the doctor wants him to come in.Annie shows up at the hospital to give her mom a ride home, and gets to hold Jen's son. The nurse arrives to check the baby's vitals. Annie says she can't do the baby thing. She'll have to let Katherine know. It was easier when it was all abstract, but holding the baby made it real. She also blames herself for money being tight, because of her legal costs, and the strain she put on her parents' marriage. Debbie tells her she didn't.

Jen tries to fire the nurse for not changing her baby's diaper. She asks Debbie to do it, and she makes Jen say
please. She also agrees to accept the job offer if the pay is doubled. Jen accepts, reluctantly. Debbie also says anything over 40 hours gets her overtime, and she'll need health benefits. Jen agrees to everything.

Charlie confronts Liam about trashing the hotel room. He tells Liam he's done with him.Teddy and Ian finish fixing the gutter and get back to the ground at the same time as the principal comes around the corner. She gives them their freedom. Teddy tells Ian he did a good job, and Ian thanks him for not letting him fall off the roof. Teddy apologizes for hitting Ian, and calling him names. Ian accepts his apology, but Teddy still doesn't accept that Ian is right about his sexual orientation. Jen wants to name the baby Jacque. Ryan says no, he can already hear the kids on the playground referring to him as Jacquestrap.

Ivy confronts Dixon, and he lies to her. He says he still has feelings for Sasha. She turns and leaves without a word.Adrianna, Naomi and Silver set up the camera to bust Mr. Cannon for meeting a student for dinner in a hotel room. Adrianna will be in the next room with Naomi, if Silver needs them. Mr. Cannon arrives, and he has the principal with him, and the school therapist. Because she's bipolar, they're not going to treat this as a disciplinary issue. But they will be talking to her family, and she will have to commit to therapy. Charlie arrives and sweeps Annie into a kiss. He tells her Liam made it really clear that he wants nothing to do
with either of them, so they should just do what they want.Teddy goes to bed with the girl who propositioned him, but he can't get aroused. He blames her for not being that hot, and leaves.Ivy and Oscar talk, and he tells her she's not stupid, Dixon is. Oscar thinks Ivy is amazing; smart, funny and beautiful. He tells her he's crazy about her, and she kisses him. Ryan sleeps with the baby in his arms, and Jen wakes up and shows
affection to both of them.Silver comments that Cannon thinks he's won, but he hasn't. She tells Cannon he's going to pay, and his documentary sucks.Dixon is negative. He got called in to the doctor's office because he dodged a bullet, and the doctor wanted to reiterate the safe sex talk. He calls Ivy immediately because he dumped her, thinking that he was positive. Her phone rings next to her bed, which Oscar is sharing with her.




Guest Starring

  • Rebecca Wisocky as Principal Nowick
  • Robert Gant as Dr. Wright
  • Susan Dalian as Ms. Henry


Opening Tagline: Silver

  • This is the second episode in the series to be named after a character.


  • "I'm not calling our kid Jacques. I can already hear the kids at school calling him Jacques Strap." - Ryan Matthews
  • "We'll take my car. You look like you take a mini-van." - Jen Clark (to Debbie)
  • "You sure they don't offer these hormones in Flintstones chewable?" - Annie Wilson
  • "I've been carrying her around for nine months. It's hard. I wanna see my feet." - Jen Clark
  • Naomi: Write, 'I wanna meet you at the hotel so we can get naked and nasty all night long.'
    Silver: Naomi, we have to be subtle.
    Naomi: Right. Lose 'all night long.'
  • Annie: Are you living in your car?
    Liam: The best thing about it is that you can change your view when it gets old.
  • Annie: Know what they do to rapists in less civilized societies? Snip. Snip.
    Naomi: Sounds pretty civilized to me.
  • Ryan: The last three weeks are all about the baby putting on weight.
    Jen: Eww. Yuck. Who wants a chubby baby?


  • "Boyfriend" by Best Coast
  • "Comandi" by Cey
  • "Come Undone" by Isobel Campbell
  • "Draw The Stars" by Andreya Trianav
  • "Everywhere I Go" by Lissie


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